Confessions.

Acknowledging.

Oct 10, 2025

Honesty and Transparency

“And you’ll know the truth, and the truth will set you free” ~John8:32

There was a point in my life when I didn’t know where I stood in God. But I knew him. Whenever I closed my eyes I felt him. I could feel his eyes on me, but I was too afraid and conflicted to access him.

I wanted to tell him but I knew he already knew and that’s what made me more ashamed. I couldn’t call his name for months all because it started with a spark, somehow before I knew it, it was a wildfire.

The fallen angel whispered through them, I listened and couldn’t discern the truth beneath their masks. They told me no one had to know and I conformed. They were the familiar faces I kept close.

They were the ones I was asked not to be unequally yoked with. They had convincing smiles and deceiving eyes. Slowly my heart registered, my eyes stored memories and my mind replayed the anticipation to do more.

It was a part of me I continually had hidden under my creaking bed. No matter how much I tried to hide, his light exposed me and I hated to be vulnerable and laid bare for anyone to see who I truly was. The guilt won’t let me go to him, because I was stained, ashamed, and undeserving of mercy.

On Sunday, the pastor cleaned his sweats and sin with a white handkerchief and preached about repentance. The congregation nodded in koinonia, some bowed their heads in shame, others looked from the corners of their eyes, the rest shedded a tear of guilt. And a lot of souls left the same way they came, back to the same habits and obsessions.

But in a corner of my room, my heads on my folded knees. He was transforming me. He was washing off the dirty flesh and readying me for manifestation.

I told him I wasn’t ready, that I wasn’t clean enough. I told him I needed deliverance or some kind of cleansing. I tried to distance myself away from him, but the more I withdrew, the more he drew nearer.

And Jesus hates excuses.

I vowed to always confess my wrong doings. I vowed to always tell him about any mistakes I make, and any missteps I make. I vowed to always lay my heart bare to him. To always ask for direction, discernment and perseverance in remaining steadfast. I vowed to never remain the I was then.

Not that I’m perfect. I’m far from that. But when I let my heart fail, I go to his feet. When I falter, I call on his name. When I doubt him, I rely on his words for more strength.

I might lie tomorrow but I’ll tell him about it, I’ll be accountable and take responsibility for any wrongdoing because sometimes we blame it on the fallen angel when often times we do it with clear eyes.

And I’ve come to realize we don’t ask for mercy, we receive mercy. When you’re sincere and admit your wrongs you change in character faster. It’s a redoing, a rearranging. First it takes salvation, then transformation and lastly manifestation.

God doesn’t fail but our hearts do.

Here’s the thing. Your walk with him isn’t promised with flowered steps and a breath of fresh air. You’d go through trials and tribulations. You’re man not God, so you’d fall a few times. You might go off the designed track for your life.

And that’s where you’ll meet him. When you feel most unworthy.

He will receive you with open arms. He doesn’t judge. He doesn’t flinch from your sins. He’s just there waiting for you to give him your heart.

If you confess, it’s your evidence of not turning back, and the key to eternal life and freedom.

We change on daily basis. Repentance is key.