Letters I never sent VI

My constant constellation.

To my steady, shining presence.

Everyday I take my boat to sea
I paddle the cold waters 
I gasp 
I sigh
Everyday—I can figure it out
Every equation
Every problem
I tell myself—PROVE
Prove that you’ve got it
At least always.

And when I hit the boulder 
I flinch
I forget.
You sit and watch me.
You even laugh
You remind me and yet—
I run

When fear becomes my reality 
You are constant 
Like a star—you help me find my way
Like sailors use constellations to chart a course
You’re mine
My fixed pattern in the sky
Reliable and so steadfast. 

The hope to my dark clouds
You keep pointing like the light house on the sea
Here’s me—I surrender
Here’s me—I can’t so take over
Here’s me—and now i remember 
You’ve spoken
When the waves crash hard
You hold me

You whisper
Ever so softly
“Never will I leave you”
“Never will I forsake you”
You tell me
“I’ll give you the morning star”
You keep responding
Breathing life sweetly to my doubts. 

The song steadies me 
For the steadfast love of the lord never ceases
His mercies never comes to an end
They are new every morning
Great is your faithfulness 
I’m reminded
In my fears
In my doubts
In my weaknesses
It’s not just me
It’s my pages turning
It’s you readying my feet
It’s you mapping my way out

Your word is a lamp to my feet 
A light to my rocky path 
And surely you’re with me to the very end of age
Through the fire
Through the storms 
You’re constant 
My constant constellation.

Here’s me reminding you.
Let go of the wheel
Hand it over
It’s okay to fold
It’s okay to cry
It’s okay to admit that you can’t 
It’s okay to loose control
It’s okay to tell to help you
Let him light your path
Let him show you the way
Let him guide your heart
Let him enlighten your eyes of understanding 
Let him give you counsel
Let him hold you when you’re sinking
Just LET HIM!!
SURRENDER!!
Fully, wholeheartedly, faithfully
Let him love you. 

With him 
Ólílànyá dí 
(There’s hope)

My refuge
My fortress
My star 
My defender
My strong tower 
Always by my side
Restoring me
When I fall back down.
The only constant thing
With you
I’m healing
With you
I’m living
With you
The doors open and I find a way 
in the mist of chaos.

The inspiration for this piece.

I’ll always look to you. 
I’ll keep recalling your words. 
I’ll keep your promises in my heart.

Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?
Amos 3:3 NIV

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Yours only,
Muahh💋