Subtle Entries 008

It’s just a dream I want.

I saw a sparrow.
I thought it beautiful. 

My heart aches 
And I do not wish it to. 
The clouds has a different 
white about them. 

The sky—a pool of blue 
mocking me for my troubles. 
I think the idea is to not fall in love. 
Even the trees agree.

To not fall in love. 
So it bleeds me. 
Especially not with me. 
I mean of course I’m very intriguing, 
in a way that amazes you. 
But there’s really nothing out of the
ordinary about me. 
I know you do not see it. 
The light about me. 

I realize it will never happen. 
You’re a color that doesn’t exist. 
It feels awfully quiet. 
Your eyes are now soulless.
And my palms feel dry.
Somehow my eyes are full of water. 

Somewhere along the way, I misplaced the careless parts of being young.
The loud laughter.
The foolish questions.
The freedom to not understand everything.

The stars warned me. 
How can I live and have no story to tell?
My children will be disappointed. 
Now you’re leaving. 
Can you tell me I’m worth it all?

I saw a sparrow.
I thought it beautiful. 
It’s just a dream I want. 

Maybe now I can finally meet the child I never allowed myself to be. 

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Author’s note:

Maybe be you chased it long enough, couldn’t catch your breath and lost yourself entirely in the process.

You need to find the you that breathes.

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