Subtle Entries 009

I’m artless.

I chew on my pen. 
I look around avoiding your eyes.
And when they find mine,
I just hold your gaze as I drown in your scent.

Simi texts me—she’s waiting. 
I should leave. 
I smile at her text. 
But I want every moment to last before my next class.

I’m sitting here, 
but somehow I’m floating with Cupid. 
A symphony—the tambourines, your voice, my thudding heart.

I’m foolish.
Giggling.
Even in my brown skin, 
my cheeks flush pink.

I’d like to take myself for a spin,
and watch as though I wasn’t there.
I’m painting myself red.
A small rebellion
against the version of me
that had to be composed all the time.

My lips stain the cups.
Odibeze blames me for burning. 

I drift into forever.

I’m foolish.
But sadly reality thinks it worse—
I’m helplessly delusional. 

It’s rather doubtful 
I’ll outlive the desire 
to be well regarded.

I’m artless. 

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Authors note:

Sometimes we just want to feel as deeply as we want to but we get so self-aware to fully surrender to it.

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